Bush Iraq War
Escalation Speech Drinking Game
by Rachel Maddow
Tonight at 9PM Eastern, they'll bundle the
President onto his Presidential handtruck and roll
him into the White House Library (of all places) to make the primetime
announcement of his plan to escalate the war in Iraq.
So far, the Democratic leadership in Congress has
only committed to "symbolic"
opposition to Bush's plan, so that leaves the vast majority of us who see
what a dangerously craptacular idea this is, to
come up with ways to fight it ourselves.
Tomorrow night, MoveOn is planning nationwide rallies
against the escalation. Tonight, build up some camaraderie with the people with
whom you'll be protesting tomorrow, by playing the Bush Iraq War Escalation
Speech Drinking Game.
Where to play
May I suggest your living room? Or perhaps your
local TV-equipped bar or restaurant? Give some pals/acquaintances a call now
to see how many people you can round up. If you've got enough people so that
it makes sense to go out instead of to your place, ask the manager at your
local watering hole if he/she can put the speech on for you if you promise to
bring pals who will eat and drink aplenty.
What to Drink
Beer's best, you know it is. If you're dry, drink
non-alcoholic beer - it's better than it used to be. If you're not dry but
you hate beer, you can drink a half-strength highball: put one ounce of your
favorite ?on-sweet liquor (bourbon, gin, vodka, scotch, cognac, even tequila)
in a glass full of ice, and top it all the way up with seltzer, tonic water
or soda. Usually a highball is two ounces, but if you drink real highballs
for this game you'll DIE.
How to Play
These words or phrases are your cues to drink:
"9/11" - drink once
"September the 11th" drink twice - is
that extra "the" supposed to make the mention more dramatic?
"Surge" - drink once
"Escalation" or "escalate" -
drink twice.
If he denies that the troop increase is an
escalation, drink half of what's in your glass.
"Moqtada al Sadr" - drink once
Mangled pronounciation
of "Moqtada al Sadr"
- drink twice
"Victory" - drink once
"Failure" - drink once
"Iran" - drink once
"The Islamic Republic of Iran" - drink
twice
"They'll follow us home" - drink once
"We can pay
the price and win, or pay a similar price and lose" - drink
once
"Hitler" or "Nazi" or
"Third Reich" or "Holocaust" or "appease" -
dump your drink out in the sink, splash some water on your face, look at
yourself in the mirror, and resolve to volunteer for a Democratic
presidential campaign in '08.
Mention of any killed or wounded American soldier
by name - drink once, and make an online donation
to Iraq
and Afghanistan Veterans of America
"Jenna" or "Barbara" or
"my daughters" - drink twice
"Saddam Hussein" - drink once
"Saddamists"
- drink twice
If he says "God Bless" anything but
just "America"
at the end of the speech - drink once
That's it. You may want to print out the list for
yourself ahead of time - feel free to also add any other terms that drive you
nuts. Pick a designated driver, of course. And make sure you've got plenty of
ibuprofen and water on hand so you'll be recovered in time for Thursday
night's protests.
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